Spartan Buddha

The World's GREATEST Philosophical Action Comic! Monsters are the cause of suffering. I fight monsters. Some people call me crazy. You can call me…


Some say that hurting and looking stupid is bad. There’s medication for that.  An eternity spent living in the clouds or shiny objects that promise to make us feel good and break our hearts.

We all make mistakes.

It’s 2014 and oxygen is still free. Let’s enjoy that while we still can. Let’s contort ourselves into pretzels and breathe. Then let’s doing something worse. Let’s go against our domesticated brainwashing and stand up tall. And breathe.

“What do you think you’re doing?” asks your spine and the gravity Guilt and Shame.

And because you’re not on trial you say NOTHING.

Then they balance on their tippy-toes to get with your line of sight and see that you are looking up at that new Spartan Buddha Banner. Then their minds MELT because it’s dope as hell.

“It’s only gonna get BETTER,” Spartan Buddha declares patiently.

Some day this will be easier. All these things will be in one place. You’ll push a button or squint your eye and and the wi-fi transmitter stuck up your nose will send a message to your electronic money cache to dump some digital cash on a beautiful book of art or a pair of microwave socks. It will be easier and will have more free time to fill with confusion and complaints about your atomic powered butler. Some day. But for now click the link. Scroll the page. Get the book. Read it. Get at me. 
I’m Zeph. He is Spartan Buddha and this is all a fairytale. 


Revenge is a dish best served with Sriracha or BBQ sauce. Garlic aioli isn’t bad either. Opt for water – the soda is just gonna fill your stomach with gas. Get the cheesecake for dessert. Tip 20% – the math is easier. Get those choco-after-dinner-mint-things on your way out, you know, the ones that are candy coated and melt in your mouth. Pick up a copy of Down with Monsters. Sleep like a star baby.


Um… did you know Down with Monsters: A Spartan Buddha Fairytale is out and available now? If you stumbled upon this website by some Disney-like miracle, then you might of not. But if you’ve been blessed with the awareness of Spartan Buddha previously, then I assume you did. Good for you either way. You should read the book before you die. You know, sometime between now and one of us being buried in the ground. Then we can talk about it, the book or the afterlife. I promise.


I’ve been wonder which Brad Pitt character was tougher: Brad Pitt’s bareknuckle Gypsy boxer in Snatch or bareknuckled anarchist Tyler Durden from Fight Club?  One was a bare knuckle champ and the other got beat up in the basement of a tavern and laughed about it. Hmm. I’m going to go with my gut and say Benjamin Button. Oh hey, what’s this thing: Down with Monsters


Down with Monsters: A Spartan Buddha Fairytale

So I made a book that started out as a battle cry, shifted into a manifesto then landed on Earth as a fairytale.  I would say that I hope you like it but that would imply that there’s a chance that you wouldn’t. Whether you’re broke or living in a penthouse on top of a skyscraper with a robot butler and a talking pet ostrich with a diamond dog collar, you can read this book. Why? Because you have the internet and this book is accessible through the internet even without money. That means everyone can read it. That means everyone can have thoughts and opinions about it. That means I’m interested in hearing about them.

I had a conversation with a 80 something year old man from the future that told me he made this book 50 years ago and it’s sold 96 billion copies since. He would like to say to you all, THANK YOU.
(P.S. I made a second version of the promo video. It has a different score. That’s about all that’s different. It’s the ‘Buddha‘ promo. You can check it out here.)


I can’t speak to animals or read their minds (yet) but I imagine wild animals like wolves and tigers have no religion. Having a moral compass dictated by some authority figure probably isn’t very useful when everyday is like a game of Russian Roulette to find food and survive. Their morals are ‘Stay Alive.’ Wild animals probably aren’t happy because happiness is for domestic creatures but wild animals never have mid- or quarter-life crisis either. I think.

Batman is about a domesticated boy grieving over his parents death by creating himself into a wild man. He’s wild in the sense that he’s above the law. He created his own set of rules and moral codes. Batman answers to NO ONE but himself. He has no god. On one hand you can say that Batman is miserable because he’s obsessed with fighting crime. But on the other hand, you can imagine that he gets a kick out of running the Batmobile over Killer Croc’s leg and fracturing the Riddler’s floating rib with a well placed kick. Then he finishes the night by going back to his mansion and pouring champagne on supermodels to maintain his secret identity.


When people beat themselves up or hurt themselves while sleeping they call it a nightmare. But when they do the same thing while awake they call it being realistic. Animals maybe stupider than us but I don’t think act stupider than us. Imagine a tiger that had a low opinion of itself. “I can’t go murder that antelope. My stripes are too thin. I think I’ll sit here and starve.”

In other news… The book. Soon.


People say they don’t like to be judged but they probably mean when it’s not in their favor. Because everyone wants to be judged as charming or interesting or smelling good. But where does that get us? The winner of American Idol? That’s cool but who knows whatever happens to those people. Besides Kelly Clarkson, don’t they all get zapped into the Phantom Zone once their contracts run out? Judgement is for criminals and slaves. And sometimes art students. -Yuck! Why would you want to study art in college? So you can end up drawing webcomics for free? That idea gets an ‘F’. My book is coming out really, really soon. Fingers are crossed that that statement doesn’t become a lie. That gets an ‘AAA+++’.


What? Mr. Lessons is a blind dude with superpowers bestowed upon him from magic barn owl’s? He has a traumatic origin story like a Stan Lee created Spiderman villain? Spartan Buddha is still helmetless and naked? The Spartan Buddha graphic novel is finished but still hasn’t been released to the public yet? So many questions. So little answers.